How to overcome the fear of rejection

Everyone has an imaginary companion who has been with you since you took your first breath and will be with you until you take your last. His name is Fear.

If you allow this companion to take control over your life, then he will put you in a straitjacket, push you into a cell and throw away the key. You will forever be paralyzed into living a life much, much smaller than your potential, and unfortunately this is why most people will never achieve the success they desire.

Fear feeds upon itself and snowballs - the more you run from something and give in to your fear the stronger it becomes.

But Fear also has a fear…

Fear hates to be faced. Like a schoolyard bully he feels very empowered when he is taunting and chasing you but stop and squarely look him in the face and he, like the bully, backs down.

The truth is you, me, everyone will always feel afraid when we enter a new, unfamiliar situation. It’s a psychological reality of us human beings. The fear only goes away when the situation becomes familiar

The only way to rid yourself of a fear is to face it, push through it and do what you need to do.

Now one of the most universally crippling fears is the “Fear of Rejection” and it would be impossible to put a figure on how many sales have been lost and lives destroyed at the hands of this beast. Fear leads to procrastination and…

Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy. ~ Wayne Gretzky

So let’s stop, turn around and examine rejection for a few moments and let us ask ourselves...

“What is the worst that can happen….and can I survive that?”

So let’s assume someone gives you a dirty big NO. What will that do to you?

Can we agree that someone informing you that they are not interested in buying your product or joining your business will not cause you bodily harm?

Your life isn’t going to end...

You’re not going to have to pull up stakes and move to another city in order to escape a vengeful lynch mob...

Your heart isn’t going to stop beating or lightning strike you dead...

Nobody likes the feeling of being turned down or rejected - it sucks big time but all said and done we are fearing a small two-letter word spelled “NO.” It is the emotional headbutt to our ego that we fear...

So how can you avoid getting told no? Well if you want to have any measure of success then the short answer is - you can’t.

In sales, “NO” is the toll booth you must pass through to get to YES.

The great news is that you can choose how you see rejection and frame the no’s so that they empower you instead of derail you.

If you’ve convinced yourself that rejection is God’s judgement on the quality of person you are then, yes, life will be tough for you.

But in the case of sales, you are asking a person if they would like to buy your product or join your opportunity. Your prospect’s 'NO' is being directed towards what you are selling, not you, the messenger. God is not out to smite you.

Maybe you caught the person at a bad time or in a bad mood...

Maybe the guy’s wife walked out on him and his car blew up this morning...

Maybe you need to work on your sales technique a little, and invest time in learning better words to use so that you hear fewer nos and a lot more yeses...

Always keep this in mind...

Do you think the Bakery owner sits in his window watching the cars drive by all day crying because each passing car is rejecting the sign outside and the idea of buying his bread?

No, perhaps they just weren’t hungry. Or perhaps they are on a diet this week and trying to steer clear of carbohydrates. Perhaps some bad news had ruined their appetite...

But the owner still puts out his sign each day and to attract people to enjoy his gorgeous, fresh bread knowing that most people will go past his Bakery but over time a few satisfied customers will multiply.

Every person who sells anything has to learn to take a no and move on to their next opportunity to sell. The key to success in selling lies in your ability to go from no to no without losing your enthusiasm.

Ultimately you have to ask yourself if you are going to let the word ‘No’ uttered by someone you most likely do not know and will never see again destroy you or shrug it off, say ‘next’ and keep moving forward to victory.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Author image
Co-founder of Staged.com, father to 2 gorgeous girls, escaped death 14 times, avid reader and lover of martial arts, fitness training and the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team;)